Which of the following scenarios are examples of relationship abuse??
- Calling a significant other dumb, stupid or ugly
- Controlling the way a significant other dresses or styles his or her hair
- Forcing a significant other to have sex against his or her will
- Not allowing a significant other access to a bank account
(Significant other is a boyfriend, girlfriend, husband or wife)
Some people think relationship abuse occurs only when physical pain is exerted; such as, punching, kicking, and biting. However, relationship abuse or intimate partner violence disguises itself in many forms.
Physical, emotional, verbal, sexual, and economic control are all ways an intimate or dating partner can exert power over their partner. No matter the degree or intensity of these abuses, love shouldn’t hurt.
Misconception: Love hurts.
Truth: Love nourishes and protects.
Misconception: Jealousy is a sign of love.
Truth: Jealousy is a sign of insecurity and lack of trust.
Misconception: Victims often provoke violence.
Truth: Abusers are responsible for their violent behavior.
Misconception: Batterers are crazy, sick people.
Truth: Batterers are not mentally ill. They batter to get their way.
Misconception: He/she (an abuser) will change.
Truth: He/ she (an abuser) will not change unless he accepts responsibility and goes for help.
Misconception: Someone has to have the upper-hand in a relationship.
Truth: Relationships based on mutual respect, sharing, and caring are more healthy and satisfying.
Relationship violence is a serious problem worldwide; at least one in three women have been beaten, coerced into sex, or otherwise abused during her lifetime. Even though women are more at risk of becoming a victim of relationship violence, men are victims as well. Male victims of relationship violence rarely report the abuse due to societal stigma and the fear of being labeled a “wimp.” Women and men of all races and social/economic status are equally vulnerable to violence by an intimate or dating partner.
Bottomline: nobody deserves or asks to be abused.
To learn about relationship “red flags” and how you can assist a friend or loved one who may be in an abusive relationship, go to the ZERO website at www.ccccd.edu/zero
In order to continue raising awareness about the prevalence of relationship violence, ZERO Tolerance of Violence is coordinating The Red Flags Campaign in June. It is exactly what the title says. Students will see red flags displayed around campus. Each flag will exhibit a misconception and truth about healthy/unhealthy relationship. Visit a ZERO resource table in June to participate in relationship games and chances to win prizes.
Resources:
Hope’s Door Shelter/Counseling Center 972.422.7233
Collin College Counseling Services 972.881.5126. (Counseling is free to enrolled students currently attending.)
Helpful Links:
www.ccccd.edu/zero
www.hopesdoorinc.org
www.seeitandstopit.org
A song of encouragement:
Song Title: Good Woman Down
Artist: Mary J. Blige
Click here to read the lyrics.
Although this song is directed at female survivors of relationship violence, it can be applied to men who are experiencing abuse as well.
